You have a girl coming over? Here’s your checklist

I've seen men make serious mistakes that could have easily been avoided. I hope those who read this post will never have to experience such regrets.

It's super simple. Whether it's a Valentine's day date or your anniversary (though for the latter, she would have already told you these things), here's what you need to know.

Personal Hygiene

Crop your nails

Make sure your nails are not only clean but also short. You never know where they will end up. The skin inside of her womanhood is very sensitive and precious. A longer nail, even if not sharp, can easily do lots of damage. Especially when she's coming and tightens her muscles. So please, make sure they're as smooth as possible.

Shower yourself. Put perfume.

Make sure you smell nice. There are literally guys that wear the same socks or underwear for days. That is not acceptable.

There is no manliness in not being able to take care of yourself. Take a shower. Put on fresh everything. Apply a bit of perfume... You can be creative about where you put it too ;).

Also, use deodorant if you tend to sweat easily and your sweat has a strong odor. I've noticed that when I eat clean, my sweat almost has no smell. That means avoiding artificial sweeteners such as protein bars and sugars.

So a bonus point: eat clean and you will win at life.

Drink pineapple juice (or eat it)

Speaking of bonus points, this is the biggest one I discovered. If you like her to swallow, and she's not someone crazy about it, you can play your cards right.

Assuming you meet her tonight: drink a liter of pineapple juice today, yesterday, and the day before yesterday. Also avoid junk food. You will taste much better for her.

Preparation and Safety

Have lube & condoms

I'm still surprised by the number of girls who have told me about men attempting intimate activities with inappropriate substitutes like olive oil.

I know it can feel embarrassing (at least that's how I felt about taking out anything other than a condom). But that hesitation is misplaced. If she sees you have these things, it's a huge turn on. She knows that you probably know what you're doing. She feels safer.

Some women become naturally aroused as soon as you kiss their neck and chest in the right way (hint: under the breasts). Others need more help, and there's nothing worse for her than lack of lubrication. It also feels worse for you. Trust me.

Note: If it's the first time, opt for a water-based lube. A portion of the population is allergic to silicone-based lube, and you don't want to discover this the hard way. Water-based is the safest choice. Also have silicone if you're into using toys, anal play, etc. Although in that case, this post is not for you. You're a pro! :)

If a girl is reading this, don't be afraid to ask for lube. I cannot imagine a man getting defensive about it. But do communicate earlier or bring some in your purse if plans aren't certain.

Always have condoms and use them the first time. Later, you can discuss with her about your preferences. Putting it on is easier than getting Plan B. Getting chlamydia or other infections is not worth it.

In Denmark, it's also now a felony to remove a condom without consent. If you struggle with maintaining an erection, I'll write another post about that soon.

Creating the Right Environment

Keep a tidy place & clean sheets

As you take care of your body, make sure you have clean sheets. Do laundry but don't use too much scented detergent—some people are allergic. You do not want her skin itching 10 minutes into foreplay.

If you're a messy person, at least throw everything into a cabinet. Girls are attracted to manly men, and a real man has his life together and in order. Be one, and these are ways to demonstrate it.

Consider lighting

Make sure you can dim the lights; don't rely on turning them completely off. She may not feel safe or may not like to be entirely in the dark. On the other hand, having bright light can be a deal-breaker for many.

Make sure you have that covered. Be creative if needed. A light on in the bathroom with a half-open door can work perfectly.

Find a playlist

Find a sexy playlist. The Weeknd always works, but on Spotify or YouTube Music, you can find plenty curated by the community. Avoid high-intensity music. It can be anything: sexy or simply a meditation track you'd hear during a massage.

Music isn't a must, but it definitely helps create the right atmosphere.

Communication and Consent

Don't be pushy & be first to back off

My biggest suggestion is don't be pushy or needy. If you're too desperate, take care of yourself beforehand.

At no point during intimacy should you be pushy, especially when you haven't communicated enough or are still riding an adrenaline wave.

If at any point she hints she doesn't want to continue, be the first one to back off—both stopping your actions AND giving physical distance.

You want to signal that she is in control. And she is, even in more intense situations, because she always should have the chance to say STOP or use a safe word.

The best part? When she sees that you respect her boundaries, she will become more aroused and turned on. Isn't that a nice win—one shot, two birds?

Limit alcohol intake

Wine & dine is popular. Wine, or any alcoholic beverage, can be an amazing wingman. However, too much can make people do things they don't want to.

Don't exceed the tipsy line. Make sure she's completely aware when consenting.

Being more sober can be the difference between no orgasms and many orgasms for her.

A drink is fine though—if she's stressed or you are, it can take the edge off.

These are super simple guidelines. I'm glad you made it all the way to the end. Be a gentleman, and have fun!